


Idiocy

by JustSomeSmutHere



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: A coyote tried to eat my dog a few nights ago, M/M, Morty acts like a shitbag, two assholes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:14:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15953873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeSmutHere/pseuds/JustSomeSmutHere
Summary: Two retards act retarded to each other.





	Idiocy

It wasn't uncommon for Morty to be in mortal danger. In fact it was downright a regular occurrence. But this situation was significantly more dire.

“Get it off! Fuck! Rick hurry! I don't wanna die!! RICK!”  
An infinitely complicated mechanism on Morty's wrist glowed with rapid, staccato beeps.

Rick's sure fingers were fumbling slightly as he ran them over the smooth surface, looking for any kind of opening in the thing. It was of a smooth, dark metal that resisted every type of mechanism that Rick could throw at it. At least every type that he had available to him at the moment which was a severely limited amount.

His fingers ran yet again along the smooth edge of the bracelet for about the hundredth time before he stopped, fingering the spot at which he'd landed. He yanked Morty's wrist close to his face making him yell in pain and swear.

“OW! Fuck, Rick!”

“Shut the hell up!”

His eyes were intensely focused as he ran his fingers along the area of interest, pushing experimentally, his brain working frantically. The tiniest of clicks sounded and a teeny panel opened, one too small for his finger to fit into. He pulled out a miniature screw driver from his pocket and pried something loose, praying to fuck he was right. The beeping died away along with the light and he sighed. Morty was shaking. Rick ran hand through his hair and sighed regretfully. "Morty I'm s-" He stopped mid sentence to listen, straining to hear something.

An almost imperceptible noise keened into existence, originating from the bracelet.  
Rick's eyes went wide and he pried another diode loose with hasty fingers, the cuff tightened, making Morty grit his teeth.

“RICK!!!”

“Shitshitshitshitshit! Uhhhh... Fuck shit. Fuck. Lemme just think.. Think you dumb asshole!”  
Beads of sweat stood out on his forehead and he smacked it a couple of times with the heel of his palm as he made complex mental calculations in the blink of an eye.

His features grew hard, he grit his teeth as he stabbed into the bracelet with the screwdriver making Morty squeal in pain, already hurting immensely from his circulation being cut off.  
There was a cracking, popping sound and the circuit board broke away, revealing an inset circle with intricate patterns on it that glowed a burning white.

“There you are you goddamn son of a bitch!”  
He began hacking at the circle of light, making Morty scream in agony as the cuff tightened harder, his hand a lurid shade of purplish red.  
The high pitched whine continued to grow in intensity as Rick jabbed fiercely at the tiny reactor.  
Without warning the cuff loosened like a blood pressure meter, becoming soft and malleable. Morty whipped it off and hucked it at the ground as if it were a poisonous spider. Not even a second later, a blinding white light flashed and died, the device going dead. 

Both of them were shaking and Rick shivered hard, running a hand through his hair again as they both stared at the deadly object.

He turned to his grandson, his eyes full of remorse and distress. Morty stared back looking traumatized. A look that had been on his face many times but it still hurt Rick every single time. After those few moments, Rick busied himself with examining him, his hand lingering on his face, his thumb caressing attentively. Morty closed his eyes, relishing the brief contact. But genetics are a potent thing and they run deep.  
Morty's features slowly became sullen and he pushed the old man away roughly, furious about the physical and psychological damage he'd just endured due to Rick's selfish obsessions.

“God d-dammit R-rick! I told you there were too many guards around. But do you fucking ever listen to me?! Of course not you stupid old asswipe! Ohhh 'Morty it'll uurp be fine, I can handle it. I know what I'm fucking doing, now shut up you tiny idiot'. Y-y-you're such a retard, you know that?! I almost got vaporized in-into a quantum mist because of you're a greedy piece of shit and I'm pretty sure all the nerves in my hand are destroyed and it'll fall off in about 3 days due t-Mm!”

Rick embraced him tightly and held him there, cradling him protectively in his strong arms.  
Morty's tension ebbed away and he grumbled irritably.  
The scientist let him go and tenderly examined his temporarily useless hand. Trying to gently restore blood flow, massaging it gingerly, ignoring his protests.

The boy winced and relaxed, though he didn't show it outwardly. Instead he continued to glower at his guardian before sniping at him:  
“So you gonna kiss away all my boo boos?”  
His voice was pouty and mocking.

Rick stopped rubbing his hand, his expression melting to one of indifference with a hint of animosity. He flicked his eyes upward, squinting just slightly, the glance full of malice and without a word he pulled out his portal gun and shot it before dragging Morty through it by his injured hand to squeals of pain and insults.

“Owowow!! God dammit you stupid septuagenarian fucking piece of shit asshole! OW!! OW!! FUCKIN BASTARD!”

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun.


End file.
